


I'll Cry the Next Time I See You

by GrandDukeForever



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-23 17:10:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/929010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrandDukeForever/pseuds/GrandDukeForever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the kink meme prompt, which reads: "More brotherly incest please. Because of the neural handshake, their relationship gets so much closer. can be set in the present and have angst too if the filler wants. :) just more incest please!"  </p><p>If you don't like this sort of thing, don't read it.  The warning tags are there for a reason.  Please review!</p><p>Original prompt can be found here: http://pacificrimkink.livejournal.com/350.html?thread=623966#t623966</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When They Were Kids

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pyromancer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyromancer/gifts).



> I wish there were more fics about this pairing. Since there aren't, I thought that I might take a shot at contributing. There weren't a lot of fill requests for this pairing, and the ones I found had no responses. This is my first attempt at this pairing. I have two other stories in the works in responses to the only other two requests I found. Hope readers enjoy this! Please review if you can, I'd appreciate that!

“Yanthy.”

Seven-year-old Yancy Becket groaned and turned over in his bed. He slowly opened his eyes and it took a few minutes for them to adjust in the dark. When they finally did, he was greeted with the sight of his four-year-old baby brother Raleigh.

Yancy pulled one of his pillows to his chest. His arms wrapped around it in a hug and his head was half buried in the puffy headrest. He let out a small sigh.

“What s'matter, Rals?”

His little brother bit his lip and unconsciously mimicked his brother, hugging the blanket he was holding to his chest more tightly.

“Can't sweep.”

Yancy blinked, and then chuckled into his pillow before rolling over and patting the space beside him in his bed.

“All right,” he said. “Come on. Come up.”

The older boy's heart warmed at the huge smile that suddenly spread over his younger brother's face, and he found it difficult not to laugh at the sight of Raleigh tossing his blanket onto Yancy's bed before scrambling up. Raleigh only made Yancy want to laugh harder when his brother contentedly curled against him and his eyes began to flutter.

“I wike dis betta,” Raleigh said sleepily. “I sweep betta now. No mo' ni'mares.”

“ _I'mma tell momma I told her so,”_ Yancy thought. _“Raleigh doesn't like sleeping by himself yet. He's too little.”_

Yancy smiled and wrapped an arm around his sibling, pulling him in closer. He placed a clumsy but affectionate kiss on his brother's forehead.

“That's right, little brother,” he said, wrapping his blanket tighter around them and closing his eyes to go back to sleep. “Don't worry, I'll protect you. Sweet dreams.”

“Mm...sweet dweams, brudda,” Raleigh mumbled back softly before drifting off to sleep.

Yancy would never admit it out loud, but he was relieved. He didn't like sleeping alone anymore than his brother did. In fact, ever since Raleigh came into his life, Yancy wondered how he had ever handled sleeping on his own before at all.

Sharing a bed was a habit they would never quite grow out of, even into their adult years.

 


	2. When They Decide to Become Jaeger Pilots

“Yancy.”

The older man turned around and raised an eyebrow at his younger sibling. “What is it, Rals?”

Raleigh's face was red and his jaw was tight. He motioned angrily at the sack slung over his older brother's shoulder.

“Well? What's all this about?” Raleigh asked. “One of the neighbors told me you're signing up for the Jaeger program.”

“Damn it, I thought I told Miss Carol not to tell you until I'd already gone,” Yancy muttered before giving his brother a serious look. “Listen, kid...”

“No, _you_ listen!” Raleigh said, jabbing a finger at his brother. “If you thought I was just going to sit back and watch you play the hero out there while I sit home and just twiddle my thumbs, then you were wrong! I'm coming with you!”

“ _Raleigh_ ,” Yancy said, his eyes narrowing. “No. You're too young.”

“I'm eighteen. I'm an adult,” Raleigh said, sticking out his jaw. “I'm old enough.”

Yancy sighed. “Rals...”

Raleigh reached out and firmly gripped his brother's wrist. His eyes held a serious expression.

“ _Yancy_...don't you get it?” Raleigh asked softly. “You're all the family I've got left. Don't you dare go and leave me alone too.”

His older brother flinched at that. “Raleigh! That's not what I...I'm not planning on cutting you out of my life! I'd write to you and visit when I could...”

“And when the letters and visits stop because life as a Jaeger pilot gets too busy for you?” Raleigh asked. “When I stop being someone you automatically think about because I'm no longer the first and last thing you see everyday? Well, what then, Yancy? Hm? Tell me. What am I supposed to do then?”

Yancy didn't respond, but he didn't force his brother to let him go either. Raleigh sighed and ran his free hand frustratedly through his hair.

“Come on, man. Say something,” said Raleigh. “Don't I deserve some kind of answer?”

Yancy looked down at the ground for a moment, his brows furrowing together. His eyes soon shifted to Raleigh's hand at his wrist, and he slowly slid it out until their hands became clasped together. Then he looked up at his younger brother.

“All right,” Yancy said, motioning back to their house with his head. “Come on then. Go get your stuff.”

He raised an eyebrow when his younger brother wouldn't let go of his hand and tugged at it instead. Raleigh's face was set in a frown.

“What?” Yancy asked, somewhat exasperated.

“You're going to watch me pack,” said Raleigh.

Yancy shook his head. “Are you kidding me?”

“No, I'm dead serious,” said Raleigh. “I don't trust you enough right now to not walk away while I'm in there packing. So you're coming back inside with me.”

Yancy chuckled. “You're a little snot sometimes, you know that?”

“Yeah, but I need you around to remind me,” said Raleigh, who was starting to drag his older brother behind him.

Yancy couldn't help laughing and soon fell into step beside his brother. They walked back to their shared apartment, neither thinking twice about the fact that they were still holding hands.


	3. Before They Drift For the First Time

“Yance.”

“Hm?” Yancy said tiredly, rolling over in his bed. “What? What's going on, Rals?”

His little brother smiled at him sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh...can't seem to sleep.”

Yancy blinked and made a noise that sounded like a cross between an amused chuckle and a groan. “Come on, Rals...aren't we getting a little too old for this?”

Raleigh couldn't seem to decide whether he wanted to frown or pout. “You never complained back at the house.”

“Well, yeah,” said Yancy. “Because our bed at home was bigger. Things are more cramped here.”

“It's not too bad.”

“Not too—hah!” Yancy laughed despite himself. “Ah, all right. Fine...”

He moved over as much as he could and shook his head upon seeing the huge, familiar grin that spread across his younger brother's face as he climbed into the bed. Raleigh rested his head in his favorite place on his older brother's shoulder, and Yancy tucked the covers tightly around them. He then rested his head atop Raleigh's.

“All right, kid,” said Yancy. “What's going on in that head of yours?”

“Who says I'm thinking about anything?”

“You only want to cuddle up when you've got a lot on your mind," Yancy teased.

He chuckled when his brother punched him lightly in the chest. “Come on, Yance!”

“What? It's true,” said Yancy. “Nothing else keeps you up at night. Most days you sleep like a log.”

“Ha- _ha_...very funny.”

“So?” Yancy asked, nudging his brother. “What's up?”

Raleigh sighed. “I don't know...I guess I'm nervous, that's all.”

Yancy frowned. “Raleigh Becket? Nervous? Well I'll be! Guess the Apocalypse is coming after all.”

This earned him another thump to the chest. Yancy laughed.

“What, can't take a joke?” he asked.

“You're an ass,” Raleigh said, shaking his head.

“Yeah, I know, I'm sorry,” said Yancy. “All right, I'll be serious now. Tell me what's on your mind, kid. What do you have to be so nervous about anyhow?”

“Well, we Drift for the first time tomorrow,” said Raleigh.

He shuddered as Yancy started to absently trail his fingers up and down his back. His brother only did that when he was thinking; Raleigh didn't think Yancy was ever really aware when he did it. He never felt the need to tell him to stop though; if Raleigh were being honest, there was always something a little comforting about it.

“Mmhmm...we sure do,” said Yancy. “You scared?”

“Maybe a little,” Raleigh admitted. “I mean, in a few hours you'll be in my head. They said the first time, it's hard to keep all the thoughts silent. We'll basically be seeing both of our...well...everything.”

Yancy smirked. “You afraid I'll find something you don't want me to see?”

“What? No!” Raleigh said, his face flushing. “Do you?

“No,” Yancy replied back just as quickly. “You know...it's not too late to ask to get assigned to someone else. They have a second choice ready for both of us.”

“That's stupid,” Raleigh said, shaking his head. “Why would I want to do that? I don't like the idea of anyone else in my head other than you. Besides...that has the potential to make things a little more problematic...”

“Problematic?” Yancy asked with a frown.

Raleigh stiffened when Yancy's hand stopped—that meant his brother had just managed to piece something together. Raleigh began to intently focus on his own hand, which was spread out against his older brother's chest. He could feel the heat of his brother's eyes boring down on his skull.

“Raleigh...” his brother said slowly. “Are you worried about that other thing they told us? About one of the side effects of Drifting? The little warning they gave us that Drifting tends to make things more intimate between co-pilots?”

The younger man swallowed nervously. “Yeah, maybe...I mean that's why they gave us secondary options, right? They don't normally do that for most pilots—only the ones that are paired with other family members.”

Yancy didn't say anything for a few moments, but then he chuckled and pressed a light kiss to his brother's forehead. “You think too much, kid. We'll be fine.”

“We will?” Raleigh asked, finally daring to look up in his brother's eyes.

Yancy nodded. “Yeah, we will. Don't worry, Rals. I won't let anything happen to us, I promise.”

“Okay...”

Yancy smiled. “That's a good kid. Now get some sleep.”

“Yeah, all right,” Raleigh said with a yawn. “Night.”

“Sweet dreams.”


	4. A Deeper Bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aside from the language (the F-bomb is dropped a lot, lol), this the only chapter that makes this story rated M. Sorry for those who were expecting more! I don't think I'm very good at writing this sort of thing. Hope I don't disappoint too badly! 
> 
> Also, I'm discovering over the course of posting this that I am absolutely terrible with chapter titles. *Facepalm* So I hope you will all please excuse them...

“Raleigh!”

The two blonde brothers were attracting unwanted attention in the hallway of the Shatterdome. PPDC staff averted their eyes at the occasional glares Yancy would throw their way. Their fellow Jaeger pilots, on the other hand, paid the two brothers no mind. Only they understood what was going on here, and none of them would be handing out any sort of judgment.

Raleigh stormed into their shared quarters and slammed the door in his brother's face. His brother was quick to fling open the door and slammed it again himself, confronting Raleigh only after the door had clicked firmly shut behind him.

“What the fuck, man! Didn't we just tell the marshal we wouldn't be causing any more trouble?” Yancy asked angrily. “What's the matter? Still sore about that chick? Need to throw in a few more punches?”

“Oh, just shut up, Yancy,” Raleigh said, shaking his head. “I don't need this bullshit from you.”

“God damn it, Rals! I said I was sorry, didn't I?” said Yancy. “You seemed so disinterested in her after that night at the bar, I seriously didn't think she meant anything to you!”

“You just don't get it, do you?” said Raleigh. “Honestly! How are you always so fucking dense?”

“Excuse me?”

“You think I'm mad because you made a move on that girl before I did?” Raleigh asked.

Yancy frowned. “Well, _yeah_ , Rals. I thought that's what all this was about? You being mad that I, and I'm paraphrasing you here, 'take everything that I want is yours.' Isn't that why you fucking flipped the shit on me and gave me this one hell of a black eye?”

“No! That wasn't it at all! I just...oh, fuck it, this is all messed up,” Raleigh snapped and plopped himself down hard on his own bed, causing it to rattle; he put his head in his hands.

A brief silence fell between them. After a few minutes Yancy frowned and walked over to where his brother was.

“Hey...hey, kid?”

“Go away, Yance.”

Yancy sighed and sat down next to his brother. The bed dipped a little from his weight.

“Come on, Raleigh...tell me what it is I did. If it's not about the girl, then what? I can't try to fix it if you don't tell me.”

“You can't fix it,” Raleigh muttered stubbornly.

His older brother sighed again. “Can you at least talk to me about it? Give me a chance to try?”

Raleigh shook his head, which was still buried in his hands. “It's all completely fucked. I can't tell the difference between up and down right now.”

“So let me help you sort it out,” said Yancy.

“ _No._ ”

“Fine!” Yancy said, getting up angrily from Raleigh's bed and throwing up his hands. “Have it your way. Be the bigger asshole. If you decide later that you've changed your mind, you know where to fucking find me.”

“Yeah,” Raleigh said. “Whatever.”

The two eventually got ready for bed and a heavy silence fell upon the room that evening. Yancy had just barely calmed from his stormy mood and had been about to fall asleep when his younger brother's voice cut clearly through the silence.

“Yancy...”

The older man resisted the urge to smack his forehead. He was currently facing the wall and made no moves to turn around and face his brother.

“Yeah, what?” Yancy grumbled.

There was a slight hesitance in his little brother's voice. “I'm sorry...”

Yancy sighed and finally decided to roll over. He half-smiled upon seeing Raleigh's downcast expression. Ultimately, Yancy could never hold a grudge against his younger brother for too long. He reached out and ruffled a bit of Raleigh's hair.

“Yeah, kid...me too,” he said.

Raleigh bit his lip, and for a moment Yancy was reminded of a time back when they were kids. He shifted in his bed to make what little space he could available, then motioned toward himself.

“You comin' in?” he asked.

Raleigh hesitated, but it was only for a second. “Yeah...yeah, all right.”

The two brothers soon assumed their usual position of entanglement. Another awkward silence fell between them. Finally, Yancy let out a sigh.

“So...you gonna tell me what's goin' on or what?”

The younger man let out a soft sigh himself and pressed his face into his older brother's chest. “You really want to know?”

“If it's bothering you this much...yes. Of course I want to know.”

The older man heard his brother's sharp intake of breath. “Then I think it might be easier if I just showed you instead.”

Yancy frowned. “What—”

Warm lips suddenly pressed against his, surprising the older man. Before Yancy knew it, Raleigh had moved so that he was completely on top of him. He was so stunned, he didn't register what had just happened until Raleigh pulled away and rested his head in the crook of Yancy's neck. The older man took in a short gasp of breath, his eyes wide. Raleigh was whispering something in his ear and it took him a second to realize that he was saying his apologies over and over.

“Sorry...sorry...shit Yancy...I'm so sorry...I don't know what I was thinking...”

Instinct kicked in first—Yancy unconsciously brought his hands up and clasped one around the back of Raleigh's neck and placed the other on the small of his younger brother's back. Yancy cleared his throat.

“Uh...h-hey...don't worry about it...it's all right,” he soothed.

“It's all right? Yancy, this is anything but _all right_ ,” Raleigh said, groaning when Yancy began to run the fingers of one hand up and down his spine. “Shit, man...please... _please_ don't do that...! You don't understand...you don't get what it does to me.”

Yancy's stopped the motion immediately. He slowly moved both his hands to grip his brother by the shoulders and pushed against him. Raleigh helped by propping himself up on his hands, which were placed on either side of his brother's head. Yancy frowned and squinted his eyes in the dark, trying to get a good look at his brother's face. His eyes widened slightly when he was able to recognize what was reflected in them. Out of nervousness, he wet his lower lip.

“Raleigh...?”

His younger brother closed his eyes and shook his head. “God...this is wrong...this is all so wrong...! I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, Yancy...I'm so sorry...I don't even know when it all started...”

The numbness was beginning to fade and Yancy was starting to feel a little warm himself. For the first time he was seeing his brother in a different light than he ever had all their lives. Then again, perhaps the feelings had always been there—they were only surfacing now because Raleigh was breaking down the walls with his confession. Yancy suddenly recalled the warning they had been given when the brothers had found out that they had been assigned to each other. He remembered the words, but not the individual who had spoken them.

“ _Depending on the strength of your relationship and how the Drift enhances it, there is a chance that the two of you will begin to crave a deeper level of intimacy. How that tension is resolved...that will be left up to the both of you.”_

With that warning and the promise he had made his younger brother back before their first experience together in the Drift, Yancy had been able to keep any fleeting impure thoughts and desires at bay. Now, with his younger brother so clearly full of desire and trembling before him, Yancy was feeling his resolve rapidly crumble. He felt his own sense of need beginning to rack his body and almost didn't trust himself to speak.

“Raleigh...” Yancy said, his voice a little shakier than he would have liked. “Rals...it's not your fault. The Drift—”

“No. Maybe it was at first,” Raleigh said, shaking his head. “Hell, I don't even remember when I started to feel this way...”

Raleigh finally opened his eyes and stared straight into Yancy's. “But now I think I really do want...damn it...I...”

At some point, without him fully realizing it, Yancy had moved his hands down to his younger brother's hips. His own eyes were now clouded with lust.

“It's all right,” Yancy said. “Go on. Tell me what it is Rals. Tell me what you need.”

“God, Yance!” Raleigh hissed, coming back down and pressing himself against his brother. “You...fuck, man...I need _you_...!”

Yancy angled his head so that his lips were by his brother's ear. His eyes were now half-lidded with desire and he whispered with the last bit of self-control that he had left.

“Are you sure?”

Raleigh's response was immediate. “ _Yes_.”

Even Yancy didn't know he had it in him to be aggressive, but he had flipped the younger man on his back before he knew it. The older man's lips hovered dangerously over his sibling's, and his breathing was slightly erratic.

“Last...last chance, Rals...” he said. “There's no going back from this.”

“I know...” Raleigh said, chuckling weakly. “Don't worry man, I'm not going to hold it against you.”

“If you're—”

“Yance, I swear to God—I'm not made of glass, just fuck me!” Raleigh growled.

That was all it took. Before Raleigh knew it, Yancy had managed to yank off his pants and Raleigh moaned with surprise when his brother's hot lips enveloped his throbbing cock. His hands flew to his face and he arched his back as he let out a cry.

“Fuck! _Yance!_ Stop! You shouldn't be...! I should—oh _shit!_ ”

Raleigh's face burned from the embarrassment of having only lasted a few seconds. He flushed even harder upon hearing his older brother's chuckles from below.

“That good, huh?” Yancy asked; Raleigh could practically _hear_ his older brother's satisfied grin.

“Shit, Yancy...you didn't have to—”

“Shh...don't worry about it, Rals,” Yancy said, whispering in his brother's ear. “Trust me. I want this as badly as you.”

Those words sent a pleasant shiver through Raleigh's body and he moaned when Yancy pressed their lips together right before the older man lifted Raleigh's shirt over his head. Raleigh then grasped for the waistband of his brother's pants.

“Come on, now you,” he said, voice husky. “Play fair.”

Yancy chuckled as he pulled his own shirt off and tossed it to the side. “Feisty little fucker, aren't you?”

“Just shut up and give me what I want, Yance,” Raleigh snapped, though there was a hint of playfulness to his tone.

Yancy smiled. “Yeah, yeah, all right... _damn_ you're impatient!”

The older man curled his tongue around one of his fingers, wetting it before taking it out and pressing it gently against Raleigh's tight entrance. He leaned forward and put his lips to Raleigh's ear again, and affectionately brushed back some of his younger brother's blonde hair with his free hand.

“This is probably gonna hurt a little bit, Raleigh...”

“It's _fine_ ,” Raleigh said through gritted teeth. “Just do it. _Please_...!”

Raleigh let out a small gasp and his hands grasped at the sheets at his sides. His body resisted the intrusion at first, but his brother was patient and gentle in his coaxing. Yancy peppered light kisses along the inside of Raleigh's thigh.

“You all right, Rals?” Yancy murmured. “Tell me if you're in pain...I don't want to hurt you.”

“Hurts a little,” Raleigh admitted. “It'll pass though, right?”

His brother kissed him again. “Yeah...yeah, it'll pass...”

“Then don't stop.”

It took several more minutes, but eventually Yancy was able to slide in two more of his fingers. By this point, Raleigh had loosened up considerably and he was eliciting more sounds of pleasure rather than pain. At some point his hand had wandered down to his older brother's nether region, and he began to stroke. Yancy flinched at first from the sudden sensation of Raleigh's touch before reluctantly swatting away Raleigh's hand, causing his brother to let out a whine.

“Can't fuck you if I'm soft now, can I, kid?” Yancy chuckled.

“Well hurry it up then,” Raleigh said breathlessly.

Yancy laughed and removed his fingers. He felt a bit of a thrill run through him at the sound of Raleigh's protesting whimpers. Had he been in a rational state of mind, he would have found something incredibly wrong with that, but the two of them had tossed all reason out the window a long time ago.

Taking his hot length in his hand, he pressed it against Raleigh's lubricated opening, and after a few attempts he was able to slide into his brother completely. Yancy let out a pleasured gasp upon doing so—Raleigh was tighter than he had anticipated and for a second the older man was seeing stars. Raleigh's moans brought him back to reality and Yancy silenced them by pressing their lips together once more. This time their lip lock was more heated, tongue warring against tongue. As the kiss intensified, so did Yancy's thrusts. They were a mess of entangled limbs—Raleigh's hands roughly pushed against the back of Yancy's thighs, encouraging the older man to slam into him harder until Yancy finally reached his breaking point and Raleigh had reached his second climax of the evening.

Their make-out session slowed and they eventually broke apart, both breathing raggedly. Yancy trailed kisses down the side of Raleigh's face to the base of the younger man's neck. He then pulled Raleigh into a warm embrace and used his other hand to pull the covers over their cooling bodies. The older man placed a firm kiss on his brother's head before resting his forehead against Raleigh's. He smiled when his younger brother leaned into him.

“Hey, kid,” he whispered, eyes closed.

Raleigh's face was buried in the crook of his brother's neck, so his reply came out muffled. “Yeah, what?”

“No regrets, right?” Yancy asked softly, running a hand through his brother's hair and trailing it down Raleigh's back.

“Mm...yeah...no regrets,” Raleigh mumbled back happily. “Sweet dreams, brother.”

Yancy chuckled; he was experiencing a moment of déjà vu. He could have lit the room with his smile.

“You too, Rals...sweet dreams.”


	5. From Two Down to One

Their relationship did change, but only for the better. Since that first night, the two brothers wrestled around in bed quite often, though they were careful to downplay their relationship in public. For the most part, no one seemed to notice. The only ones they couldn't fool were their fellow Jaeger pilots.

Sure, the Becket's had their well-known affectionate history on their side—most people didn't find it at all unusual when Yancy leaned in a little too close to whisper something in Raleigh's ear, nor did they find strange Raleigh's constant need to follow his brother around everywhere he went. That was all normal—it was common behavior among Jaeger pilots, and the two had been known for their brother complexes long before joining the PPDC.

What gave them away was the subtle things, the behaviors that only other Jaeger pilots could see for what they were, because they knew what to look for. Like the way Yancy's eyes would linger on his brother when he was speaking to someone else; his stance both protective and possessive. Or how agitated Raleigh would get, if his older brother's attention seemed to be anywhere other than on him, even if his brother was only briefly skimming over text containing what their orders were for the day. Truth be told, it was a relationship to be envied. Their relationship ran thicker than blood and deeper than physical intimacy. There was something between them that they had always held; a bond that they had unconsciously cultivated since even before entering the Jaeger Academy.

It was this rare quality that made them one of the strongest and most effective Jaeger teams of all time. It was also the main reason for their ultimate downfall.

 _Knifehead._ It was the Kaiju of their undoing, and one that would haunt Raleigh's nightmares for the next five years. He can still hear his brother's screams from both inside and out of the Drift clearly, as if he were still shouting them right in his ear.

“ _Raleigh! Listen to me! Raleigh, listen to—”_

His brother's thoughts had been a little jumbled, but Raleigh had heard them all, loud at clear. It was amazing how much one could say and how much one could process while connected in the Drift.

_Oh God...I'm going to die! Shit, Raleigh! Don't focus on me—don't focus on the panic! Remember, the Drift is silence! Don't go down the hole! You have to finish this! You have to! Oh, God...Rals, I love you, I—_

No matter how hard he tries, Raleigh can never forget the screams from that night. They had been Drifting together so long, they were one of those pilot teams that had the ability to feel each other through a residual connection, even long after they had disconnected from their Jaeger. Ghost-Drifting, the officials called it. It was usually a blessing.

_AHHHHHHHHH!!!!_

That time, it had been a curse. Raleigh had felt everything—his brother's terror, his pain. Even as his body worked on auto-pilot to eliminate the beast, the rest of Raleigh's body was numb; he had completely shut down emotionally. He had just watched his beloved older brother Yancy die, and a huge chunk of Raleigh died right with him.

He didn't know how he got so lucky as to wash up with Gipsy Danger on shore. There was a man hovering over him saying something, but Raleigh neither heard him or saw anything. All he could think about, the only thing that filled him was an overwhelming surge of anguish; despair that he had been unable to save his brother, resentment that he had somehow managed to survive, and remorse for having convinced his brother to ignore Marshal Pentecost's orders and pursue the Kaiju beast anyway, a decision that surely cost his brother his life. Most of all though, Raleigh was overcome with regret over the fact that he had not, at the very least, had a clear enough head to respond to his older brother's sudden declaration of love with his own utterance of the words, “I love you.”

He didn't fight when the darkness consumed him. His heart filled with bitterness when he found himself awake in the hospital, alive, and very much alone. He didn't argue when Marshal Pentecost and the PPDC dismissed him for having disobeyed orders. In fact, he had been more than happy to go. The further away he got from the Shatterdome, the better. He didn't need a constant reminder of the reckless decision he had made in the field, and what it had cost him. _Who_ it had cost him. He had, quite literally, lost his other half.

It took Raleigh almost the entire day to pack his things on the day he was discharged. It wasn't because he had a lot of possessions to take. It was because everything in the room reminded him of Yancy. His brother's scent still lingered in the sheets. All his clothes were still neatly folded or tucked away in their shared closet—Yancy's side had always been neater because his brother was the bigger neat freak between them; Raleigh had only just started developing similar habits as a result of his brother's unintentional influence in the Drift. Raleigh wasted several minutes sifting through their pictures—at some point Yancy had become less grumpy and more outgoing, and at some point he actually started smiling more in the pictures they had taken. Once again it was probably all thanks to the Drift, and Yancy picking up some of Raleigh's personality through their connection. By the end, Raleigh had passed out on his bed—the one he was supposed to have used, not the one he had ended up sharing communally with Yancy—which was now stripped bare of everything but the sheets that were standard-issue from the PPDC.

A knock on the door woke him up, and when he opened it there were a pair of Rangers on the other side to greet him; they had been given orders to help Raleigh with his boxes and were to escort him out of the Shatterdome. Raleigh muttered a few words of thanks but there were no further words exchanged between them. There was a thick silence that seemed to have blanketed the Shatterdome that day. It was rather odd for everyone to see one Becket walking alone without the other.

Raleigh was wearing one of the two leather jackets that were signature to the brothers; Raleigh had insisted on the design one day and Yancy had easily given in to his brother's whim without a second thought. Yancy would have done anything for his brother, even before their relationship grew past familial boundaries.

Only a close observer would have noticed that the jacket Raleigh was wearing was his brother's and not his own; Yancy's shoulders had been slightly broader, and as a result his jacket was a little loose around Raleigh's tighter frame.

Hercules Hansen was the last person to see Raleigh off that day. The Beckets had always gotten along with him. Herc was also an older sibling, and Raleigh and Yancy used to joke that Herc and Scott Hansen were mirror images of themselves, just the older version. Scott Hansen was Herc's younger brother and Jaeger co-pilot. He was also the more hot-headed of the two, a lot like Raleigh.

Herc was the last person Raleigh wanted to see, but he didn't turn the man away when the older man approached him, and didn't shrug off the hand that clapped on one of his shoulders.

“You take care of yourself, now,” said Herc. “Keep your chin up, son, and don't let the past bury you. I know your brother wouldn't want you to beat yourself up.”

Raleigh could only manage the barest of smiles. “Sure. I'll do that, sir.”

“I mean it, Becket!” Herc said, jabbing a finger at him. “You keep in touch now, you hear?”

Raleigh gave the man a curt nod and a half-smile. “Sir, yes, sir.”

He tried to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, but it was obvious that he had failed when he saw the older man's shoulders sag slightly. Raleigh inwardly winced.

“I'm sorry...” he muttered.

Herc smiled and shook his head. “No, no. It's all right. I understand. Just...you stay out of trouble, all right, kid?”

Raleigh's posture stiffened slightly at the endearment, but he didn't fault the man for it. The only one who really knew what that nickname really meant to Raleigh wasn't around to say it anymore.

“I will, sir,” he said, voice tight. “You...you stay alive.”

“I will, Raleigh,” said Herc. “I appreciate the sentiment.”

Raleigh gave the man one last nod and then entered the taxi cab that had been called for him. Not once did he look back as the car moved further away from the Shatterdome. Instead, he leaned into his seat and shut his eyes in hopes he could drown out the thoughts. The harder he tried not to hear him though, the louder Yancy's voice seemed to get.

“ _Stay out of trouble, kid...”_

Raleigh wrapped Yancy's jacket more tightly around himself.


	6. Voice of the Imaginary

Raleigh chose to work in construction because of all the noise. This was because he discovered that the more distracted he was, the less likely he was to want to take a bullet to the brain by the end of the day. There were moments though, when he had a bit of downtime, and those were the times Raleigh dreaded the most, because those were the times when he could hear his brother's voice the loudest.

Ghost-Drifting was not uncommon among Jaeger pilots, but technically it was only possible if both pilots were still living. No one had ever looked into what things were like for pilots who had lost a partner, mostly because that had never actually happened before. Most pilots were killed in action together either because the neural shock from one partner being abruptly severed and crushing weight from the sudden burden of having to pilot the Jaeger alone overloads their nervous system, killing them instantly, or because the Kaiju got to them, in which case it was sometimes a slow and painful death. Only Raleigh had somehow managed to survive such an ordeal, and here he was, on the verge of losing his mind.

At first, Raleigh had considered checking himself in to a mental health institution, but he realized an irrational part of him didn't actually want the voice to stop. He had eventually figured out a way to adapt, and sometimes he even found himself having conversations with his brother's ghost. The days he could handle it were the days where he missed his brother so much, he could almost forget that his brother wasn't alive anymore.

Sometimes, though, these little conversations would turn into full-blown daydreams, and Raleigh had ended up experiencing a few close calls. One time was when Raleigh was resting atop one of the Kaiju wall's beams roughly forty stories up—Raleigh had been talking to his brother about his feelings of restlessness when suddenly he was thrown into visions of suffocating in a Jaeger suit underwater and spinning around helplessly in the ocean. Ironically it had been his brother's voice that yanked him out of his stupor.

“ _Raleigh! Snap out of it! Grab hold of the beam! Now!”_

And Raleigh did. At some point he had leaned a bit too far forward and Raleigh had just managed to hug the beam and steady himself in time. He tried to tell himself that Yancy hadn't actually known there was a beam there—it was just his subconscious reminding him what he had already known before his mind had wandered.

“ _Damn it, Rals! That was a close one.”_

Raleigh knew it was stupid, but he closed his eyes and responded anyway. He didn't really know what else to do. He never did, when it came to the matter of hearing his deceased brother's voice.

“ _Yeah, I know, Yance...I'm sorry. I'll be more careful next time.”_

It didn't help that this imaginary version of Yancy had just as much snark as the real Yancy had.

“ _So you say every time, kid...just stay focused, all right? Stop fucking scaring me like that all the time.”_

“ _I **got it** , Yance. **Geez.** You don't have to keep fucking reminding me. Oh wait! That's right. Technically, **you're** not. Because you're **not real** and you're **not here anymore** to actually tell me this yourself in person. This is just me pretending that you're actually telling me all these things, and me wishing real hard that I'm not. Except I know that I am, and it fucking sucks.”_

The voice tended to get quiet during this type of outburst, and sometimes Raleigh hated it more than when the voice said something snippy back, because that only confirmed the reality he already knew, but never wanted to accept.

“ _What's the matter, Yancy? All of a sudden you've got nothing at all to say?”_

The silence was the loudest reminder of what he tried so hard to block out with work every single day.

“ _Fine. Have it your way. Fuck you too.”_


	7. After the Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next chapter is mostly written, but I'm stuck on a huge section of dialogue...so I'm not sure when the chapter will be posted. The conclusion is up next though.

There is a reason why Raleigh chooses to operate Gipsy Danger from the right instead of assuming his former position on the left hand side, and it's not just because his left arm hasn't felt the same since the Knifehead incident. It's because the right had been Yancy's side, and though Raleigh knows there's not going to be any avoiding sharing most of his memories with Mako—after all, Drifting was effective only when pilots were able to establish between them a connection of complete and total trust—he still wants to keep this little piece of Yancy to himself.

Truth be told, Raleigh had never expected to pilot Gipsy Danger ever again, or pilot any Jaeger, for that matter, but Marshal Pentecost had sought him out personally to recruit him back in the ranks. Of course, that wasn't the real reason.

The _real_ reason was because of something the marshal had said to him when he had been completely ready to dismiss and turn his back away from the man who was once his superior. Who would soon become his superior again.

“Haven't you heard, Mr. Becket?” the marshal had said. “The world is ending.”

Those words hadn't been the ones that stopped him. It had been the next ones.

“Now would you rather die _here_ , or in a _Jaeger_?”

And that, of course, was when another voice conveniently decided to give Raleigh his own two cents.

“ _Come on, Raleigh. You know what you've got to do.”_

“ _No,”_ Raleigh had said back in his mind. _“I'm not going back there again, Yance. Not without you. I don't want to.”_

He could almost hear his brother sigh. _“You're only delaying the inevitable, kid. You know it's not about what you_ _ **want**_ _to do. It's about what you've_ _ **got**_ _to do, and it's upholding your duty to the people of this world. Risking your life to save the lives of others...it's what you_ _ **do**_ _, Rals. It's in you.”_

Real or imagined, his brother was right. Raleigh turned to face Pentecost, his jaw clenched tight.

“All right,” he had said finally. “When do we leave?”

Pentecost had given him a curt nod of approval. “Immediately.”

Several hours later, they had arrived at the marshal's unofficial Shatterdome. It was less glamorous than the government-commissioned ones that Raleigh remembered, but only because the government had cut off all of the funding that had once fed in to the Jaeger program. Raleigh didn't mind. During his initial tour of the place, Raleigh was introduced to Mako Mori, the woman who would eventually take Yancy's place as Raleigh's co-pilot, and he was also reacquainted with Herc Hansen and Tendo Choi, an old friend and one of the Shatterdome technicians.

In a few days, Mako would be assigned by Pentecost to be his co-pilot, but Raleigh wasn't aware of that until he she spoke for the first time upon entering the cockpit. Up until that moment, Raleigh had been sure she had been suspended from the team.

“I'll take this side if you wouldn't mind...” Raleigh had said as he heard the footsteps of his co-pilot. “My left arm is kind of shot.”

“Sure,” Mako had replied with a shrug, surprising him at first, but then Raleigh's lips twitched upward into a small smile.

It turned out, melding with Yancy's side of the cockpit had an interesting side effect. Apparently Yancy had left some residual memories behind in the Conn-Pod, and Mako picked up whatever Raleigh had left behind over on his side, which she passed to Raleigh along with her own set of memories. This rather confusing combination is what caused Raleigh to go down the rabbit hole in the first place, because he was suddenly able to relive and see his very real memory of Knifehead from both his and his brother's perspectives, and his inability to pull back from the thought quickly as Yancy would have done caused Mako to plummet deep into her own worst nightmares. They both learned something about each other that day, but it had called their compatibility as a team into question, in addition to concerns regarding their competence or lack thereof.

In the end, they were able to overcome the initial obstacles and eliminated the Kaiju threat, but not without unfortunate casualties. This time, Raleigh was the one who sought Herc Hansen out, right before he went home. The situation was oddly reversed—Raleigh knew what it was like to lose a family member, but he wasn't very good at providing comfort, nor did he know what to say to someone who had just lost his only son.

The two men stood in awkward silence for a few moments. Raleigh fidgeted, and to his surprise, it was Herc who managed to break the silence first. Then again, perhaps it shouldn't have been—Yancy had always been better at smooth, formal conversation. Raleigh was just the flirt.

“I'd tell you to keep in touch, but I remember how well you took to that idea the last time I suggested it,” Herc said with a small chuckle.

Raleigh was ashamed. “I...I'm sorry, sir. I was totally in the wrong then, sir. That was callous of me.”

“No,” Herc said, shaking his head. “No, my boy. You did what you had to do. Everyone on this earth grieves a little differently.”

The older man sighed. “Just looking at you reminds me of him...you know. Even though you both really are nothing alike...right now...you just remind me so much of my son.”

Raleigh closed his eyes and lowered his head. When he opened them again, he found that he couldn't look anywhere other than his feet.

“I'm sorry, sir,” Raleigh found himself repeating. “I...I'm so sorry for your loss.”

The older man clapped him firmly on the shoulder, much in the same way he had all those years ago.

“I know, son,” he said softly. “I know...so don't beat yourself up about it. It's not what your brother would want, or what I want...and I can guarantee that it most certainly isn't what my son would want.”

Herc let out a soft chuckle. “My boy would roll in his grave if he found out you were concerning even a fraction of your thoughts to him. Wouldn't be able to stand it.”

Raleigh couldn't help but to smile and wonder at the older man's ability to crack such a joke. He most certainly hadn't been able to make light of anything for a long time after Yancy's death. It made him want to respect Herc even more than he already did. This time, Raleigh had enough sense to shake the older man's hand before climbing into his taxi.

“Until next time then, sir,” he said.

“Under better circumstances,” Herc amended, with a nod. “Off with you now, Becket.”

“Yes, sir!”

This time, when his cab took off, Raleigh took a glance over his shoulder and was glad he did. Herc was still standing outside and he offered up a hand in a wave. Raleigh raised one of his hands in a wave back. He kept it up until the older man was no longer in view, and then he turned back around and slumped in his seat. The war was over. The Kaiju threat, as far as they knew, had been eliminated. Raleigh wondered what it was he was meant to do now. Part of him didn't care. He had nothing that really mattered to him anymore. He supposed now it would just be him and his brother's voice against the rest of the world and whatever new obstacles it had to throw his way. Somehow the very thought didn't bother him as much as it would have five years ago. He had grown rather accustomed to hearing his brother's whispers.

“ _I'm proud of you, kid.”_

Raleigh wasn't sure if that's what his brother actually would have said, in that very moment, but he hoped that Yancy would have.


	8. Reunion At Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a message to Pyromancer, the OP for the prompt this story is based on. I could do a bonus chapter where the boys have a little more of a fluffy-ever-after, but it's up to you. Let me know in the comments if that's what you'd like to see—I'd be more than happy to do that for you. And I'm talking like fluff overload here, but again, only if you want it. If not, then this story will end here, as initially intended.
> 
> To everyone else...this is a very fluffy chapter. You have been forewarned...

One day, Raleigh got a call, and it sent him reeling. He didn't know how the hospital staff managed to find him, nor did he know how to feel at first when he got off the phone.

“Mr. Raleigh Becket? This is Dr. Arlene Schmidt. I have some news for you. We have your brother. He's asking for you. Could you come over to the hospital please? We're here in Anchorage.”

If someone asked him what he had said to the doctor in response, Raleigh wouldn't have been able to say. He said probably something that sounded like “sure, I'll be there” before hanging up the phone, but definitely nothing more than that.

He sat on the edge of his bed with his fist curled around a piece of paper with a hastily written address in his hand. It took a minute or so for all that the doctor had told him to sink in.

They had found Yancy washed up on the shoreline a day after the attack, the same as Raleigh, but on a different part of the coastline. From that bit of information, Raleigh concluded that Knifehead must have thrown Yancy in the direction of land, and that theory wasn't entirely impossible—the Kaiju having been as large as they were, they had incredible throwing arms.

Unlike Raleigh, Yancy had taken a hard hit to the head, and it had placed him in a coma. Doctors hadn't been sure whether or not he'd make it, but there was something that had kept him hanging on, and that something happened to be Raleigh. Apparently Raleigh _hadn't_ been crazy all these years. The voice he had been hearing in his head wasn't the _idea_ of his brother—it actually _had_ been his brother—which made Raleigh wonder how his brother must have felt all these years. Was he bitter that Raleigh hadn't tried to look for him? Surely he had known that Raleigh thought he was dead. Would he forgive him? Raleigh didn't know. He hoped so.

The voice in his head was unusually silent—had been, actually, for several months now. Raleigh hadn't noticed it right away because he had been keeping himself extra busy, and his thoughts had been going all different directions. He would wonder about Mako and Herc. He would think about the sacrifices made by Pentecost and Chuck Hansen. He finally noticed the lack of his brother's voice one evening when he was lying in bed and wanted to ask a question. When that inquiry was met with silence Raleigh had panicked about it for the next few days before eventually coming to terms with the fact that perhaps it was his brain telling him that it was finally time to move on. Then Raleigh had received the call.

At some point Raleigh finally snapped out of it. He tidied up, changed his clothes, walked out the door and hit the road, making a straight shot for the hospital. He was running on autopilot and didn't remember asking for directions or checking with the front desk to sign in, but he must have, because he had somehow made it to his brother's hospital room with a visitor's badge in hand.

Yancy was awake when Raleigh arrived. He turned his head upon hearing Raleigh and a nurse enter the room, and his lips slowly curled into a small smile. For a moment, Raleigh couldn't do anything other than stare at his brother in awe.

“Well gentlemen,” said the nurse. “I'll leave you both to it. Please feel free to call someone if either of you are in need of anything.”

Raleigh jumped slightly—he had forgotten the nurse was there. If the woman noticed his surprise, she didn't show it. She only nodded and gave Raleigh a smile before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Once she was gone, Raleigh turned to look at his brother again once more. His mind told him to move, but his body would comply. He was frozen to the spot.

Yancy chuckled. “Hey there, kiddo...”

Raleigh's hand shot out and he gripped the part of the wall that was jutting out beside him. Suddenly his knees felt slack and his mouth went dry. He felt the color drain from his face.

When he finally spoke, his voice came out as a weak whisper. “Y-Yancy...”

Yancy's eyes looked tired, but they were still smiling. “Come on. Come over.”

Something finally clicked within Raleigh, and in seconds he had rushed over to his brother's side. He leaned over the railing of the bed and began pecking gentle kisses all over his brother's face, all the while whispering his brother's name over and over.

“Yancy...Yancy...Yancy...” Raleigh said, breathlessly. “You're real...you're here...you're really here...”

Yancy laughed and ran a hand through his younger brother's hair when Raleigh finally rested it atop Yancy's chest.

“Yeah, kid...” he said. “That's right...I'm here.”

He smiled warmly at the sight of his brother. Raleigh's eyes were squeezed tightly shut and one of his hands clutched part of his brother's hospital shirt tightly.

“You never ever really left me, did you, Yance?” Raleigh whispered shakily.

“No, I didn't,” Yancy replied.

“God...” Raleigh buried his face in Yancy's chest for a moment before looking back up at him, his eyes glassy. “Why...why didn't you tell me?”

Yancy gave his brother a small smile and tugged gently at a few strands of Raleigh's hair. “Sorry, kiddo...I was out cold. I didn't know where I was...I wasn't even sure if I was alive.”

Raleigh shook his head. “You still should have told me.”

Yancy half-smiled. “You thought it was easy keeping it a secret? I listened to you suffer all that pain...and once I realized it wasn't a dream...well, I didn't want to let you know until I was sure. In the off chance I didn't make it, I didn't want you to go through all that a second time.”

“Still think you should have told me,” Raleigh sighed. “How...how long?”

“Hm?”

“How long have you been up?” Raleigh asked.

Yancy chuckled. “For about four months or so now, give or take...but you already knew that, didn't you, kid?”

Raleigh shook his head again. “I mean, hell, Yance...I didn't know what to think. Was that really you talking in my head, all this time?”

“Of course it was,” said Yancy.

Raleigh frowned. “Then why did you stop?”

Yancy half-smiled. “I woke up. I had to concentrate on getting better. “

Raleigh sighed. “I really wish I'd have known...”

“I know,” said Yancy. “But you're here now.”

“Yeah...” Raleigh said, slowly lifting his head. “Hey, Yance...?”

“Yeah, Rals?”

Raleigh's brows furrowed together slightly as he leaned in closer to his brother's face. “Can I...?”

Yancy smirked. “You think you really need to ask?”

Raleigh smiled. “No, I guess not.”

The younger brother closed the distance between them and their lips were pressed together gently. When Raleigh pulled away, a steady stream of tears was flowing from his eyes. Yancy cleared his throat, his own eyes becoming moist.

“I didn't want to cry...” Raleigh choked out. “And after...I didn't. I made sure I didn't. Not even once. It wasn't because I didn't miss you...I just—”

“I know, kid,” his brother said, gently cutting him off. “It's okay.”

“Yancy...” Raleigh whispered. “There's something I've been meaning to say...something I wish I had said to you a long time ago.”

Yancy chuckled as he lifted a hand and wiped at some of Raleigh's tears with one of his thumbs. “Oh yeah...? And what's that, Rals?”

“That I love you...” said Raleigh. 

“I've always known, Raleigh.  You've never had to worry about that, but...I will say, it's good to hear you say it out loud anyway,” Yancy said with a smile.

"I'll say it as many times as you want," Raleigh said, embracing his brother.  “I love you more than anyone...”

Yancy placed an affectionate kiss to his brother's head.  “Me too, kiddo.  Me too.”


End file.
